Donna Arp Weitzman

The Media Influence over Millennials

By Donna Arp Weitzman | Author of Cinderella has Cellulite and Other Musings of a Last Wife

When analyzing the scars and fears of Millennials, and the common themes that society imparts on them, it evokes poignancy from the eyes of a baby boomer. Has the current situation of the world set up the Millennials to never experience peace through their eyes wide-open 24-hour media existence?  The negative, war-torn world bubble that Millennials were raised in likely revealed a dark underbelly, which put a lid on the joy that our youth should have experienced, that of growing up in a safe underexposed environment. Over information from thousands of sources, mostly biased, has likely caused mental and emotional scars in the brains of our young people. 

Their ability to feel the euphoria of a sing-along America is simply not in their psyches. There are those older Americans who try to pigeonhole the Millennials by saying they are unmotivated, spoiled and impossible as a workforce.  This is coming from the paradigm of generations who were taught to go along to get along.  This is not the world of the twenty something’s, who would rather reward disruption and disrupters. And the emotion of fear is not exclusive to the Millennials.  For many generations fear has topped the emotional and psychological sphere of humankind.

Fear has eternally resided in every human.  The difference is that much of our new generation is brave enough to admit what most of us heretofore hid through bravado.  After all, baby boomers were leading the world. When you look at the impact of social media and the presence it has on the planet, the increasing outlets and platforms only enhance the cross-collaboration within this Millennial Generation. Social networks are an extraordinarily important part of Millennials’ digital lives, in part because social networks have become much more than a way to just connect about personal matters.

At the same time, we have heard in various ways that people increasingly want to take more control over social media, manage their time spent using it, and improve the quality of what they see. Numerous people have expressed a sense of frustration, particularly with Facebook, for having too much information, taking up too much of their time, and containing too much content that was not trustworthy or worthwhile.  I believe that the ability of our youth to think deeply, admit fear, and champion disruption has changed and will further continue to change our crippled and scarred world. Millennials, through their savvy and unbridled communications, can shape their world, and I believe they will. With such a gigantic generation in sheer numbers alone, new trends and patterns of behavior will start to develop in the relative near future along with the emergence of new technology. These trends will be perceived both positively and negatively by other generations, but soon a new voice and mindset will take over to re-shift the paradigm and the way our media is conveying its message to the most impressionable demographic of people, which will have long lasting effects in the future.   

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Picture Perfect or Window Dressing

RELATIONSHIPS IN A SOCIALLY NETWORKED AND CELEBRITY CULTURE OBSESSED SOCIETY

By Donna Arp Weitzman | Author of Cinderella has Cellulite and Other Musings of a Last Wife

Is it true that no level of stature can assure immunity to the problems of life?

Often dubbed America's first couples of Billboard’s Hot 100 chart, alt-rockers Gwen and Gavin, country music's Miranda and Blake, and hip hop stars Bey and Jay all have presented Facebook perfection.  Comforting their adoring fans with million-dollar smiles, luxury cars, and merger mania, America’s first’s flaunted spousal fame. Their televised harmonious duets personified a single symmetry, convincing little Cinderella’s to pay attention when Michael Jackson advised Paul McCartney to "keep dreaming."  Or to replay Barbra belting out, "Someday My Prince will come."

Should we blame these American pop music power players or hold a grudge with Miss Piggy for cutting Kermit's "ties that bind?"  How dare our society stoop so low that we allow a "white trash" porker to declare "love is dead!"

Have Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram forced the notion of picture-perfect unions?

Photo Credit: Getty Images

Photo Credit: Getty Images

With our 24/7 lives presented in Technicolor, displaying our very best smiles, flaws are no longer permitted. More Facebook followers demand more fictionalized fairy tales.  There is no longer a place for crooked teeth. Perhaps meeting people online, sleeping with our newfound friend on the first date, and falling too fast exacerbates quick splits. Is society embracing the perfect couple because we embrace love too much, or are we simply embracing the idea of love?

Like married couples at large, these larger-than-life lovers are possibly drawn so close to each other that they start to see themselves in the others face. The theory is that a married couple begins to look alike. However, in the world of 21st century window dressing, it is easy to redecorate.  Window sills left open too long begin to rust.

But, pretty pictures like pretty windows often hide what’s inside.  Do idolized couples offer little to prepare us for life's complications?  Coached, counseled, stylized couples injure our psyches and invade our desires. Is watching celebrity weddings breathlessly as each star declares eternal faithfulness setting the stage for any lapse to be a collapse? Perhaps Kim and Kanye should revise a postnuptial agreement stating, "we'll only promise to do the best we can."

As fickle fans, we deserve better leadership in love. Tired, beleaguered Dr. Phil attempts to prepare us often touting to be married is to be in flux.  Feelings change, moods change, and lives change. Love leadership might be effective by celebrating each other's shortcomings; we would have no surprise by Bennifer’s demise. In the new world of doing the best we can, there'd be no more “nannygates”.  We'd easily forgive our mate peeing in the toilet while we brush our teeth.

Until we accept that there are likely few halcyon days in a duet, I dare say we'll continue to want the right thing to happen.  Our emotions desire the beautiful people to win.  Underneath, we have little faith to believe it to be true, but we still want it.  Sleeping Beauty does not divorce her Prince!

Lovers need leaders, and it appears the only visibly perfect union left lives in a big White House.

But, if Cinderella truly does have cellulite, and Miss Piggy is a demanding diva, can it be long until we see frayed edges on America’s first couple?  Will Michelle declare Barack as difficult?  Will President Obama chastise his missus for morning breath? The perfect circle enveloping Mr. and Mrs. O might become a little lopsided with an impending tear?

As Americans, let's not only pray for our nation but let's pray for our President to consciously couple. However, if there are clouds in their coffee, perhaps Michelle and Barack should prepare us by putting it out there.  Have a big-ole fight in front of us all; scream, kick, slam a few gilded doors, and for God's sake, put it all on YouTube!

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Politics: Best Drama on Television, or Is It the Best Comedy?

By Donna Arp Weitzman | Author of Cinderella has Cellulite and Other Musings of a Last Wife

One would have to be in the Sahara covered with ant-infested sand not to have been bombarded by the characters at the Republican National Convention this past week, all vying for increased absurdity.  What most dismays many of us is that these later centuries Roman Empire-types actually believe their own bullsh-t!

The politicians' clichés and platitudes ooze like greenish puss from fresh wounds.  Certainly as Americans, we are wounded, and assuredly the Donald picks and prods at our scabs.  Every policeman gunned down stabs our heart, every innocent American mauled or killed injures our psyche, and what heretofore startled us now just disgusts us.

Then, adding insult to our traumatized souls, the politicians preen like newly feathered peacocks, marching to their own self-aggrandizing two-step.  The media begs for lapdog status, hoping we, the pitiful public, will tune in for the show.

It's difficult to imagine that our early public servants wouldn't wince at the theatrics of today's digitalized, media-centric political arena.  Obviously, early America had its John Hancock and Thomas Jefferson, but it is likely that these aristocratic stud horses at least had some policies and platforms that aided our nascent republic.

But, as the playwright, Noël Coward put it, "the show must go on."  And a spectacle it is!  

Photo Credit: nj.com

Photo Credit: nj.com

The big no-no that many Americans are making is simple.  We still believe that politicians should be intelligent, well-informed, articulate, balanced and good-hearted.  I feel ants crawling on my head. Maybe completely burying it is the only way to rid myself of creepy, crawly disconcerting feelings. There is something to say for having our heads buried in the sand!

No, even as discouraged as I am with the plasticity and vacant platforms; the utter lack of substantive policy discussions and the amateurish performances of pseudo-sincere caring, I occasionally plop in front of the television and silently hope for a real leader.  Is there an honest Abe among us?

Has our dearth of leaders become so desperate that at conventions and rallies, it is necessary to have our politicians’ lucky sperms speak? Although, the offspring have proven they can be less boring as they have divergent gene pools from different spouses.  Diversity makes for better character actors.

Thursday night at the RNC was the "capper."  Beauty and brains with Ivanka, followed by the beast, Donald.  Did it live up to the hype?  The opinions of the televised pundits largely depended upon their professed allegiance to either party.

The DNC debacle (hopefully not debauchery) begins next week.  This will likely be a parade of panderers much like pagans to royalty.  Hillary's performance is perfected in every way excepting her yell, which even the best voice coach hasn't tempered.  The lack of voice talent could cost her valuable votes, so she stays in her star trailer and rehearses, low, calm and soothing, much like a mother bear wrapping her cubs in warmth and love.  Try again!

It promises to be another long week.  Are we Americans really this gullible and desperate?  God knows we need leadership.  The giant sucking sound at the White House began decades ago.  There are rumors told by big dog donors spending the evening in the Lincoln bedroom that his ghost has been seen with tears in his eyes.

The drama and comedy of politics is as old as man.  Romans seemed particularly skilled at its theater.....”Et tu, Brute?”  Gone are the days in which American politics elicited awe and wonderment from the public, displayed wonderfully by the critical acclaim of the film The American President and the television series The West Wing.  The arrival of the 24-hour news cycle and more skeptical politically inspired entertainment options such as The Ides of March and House of Cards signify that we are all aware of the highly practiced sham that is the political show.

But, we Americans do love the show.  Here's a couple of playbills:

PLAYBILL 1

The Donald:  The Czar

Melania:  The Empress

Ivanka:  The Royal Daughter----heir apparent, much like Queen Elizabeth after King George

Two Sons----Male Trump bobble heads

Tiffany:  possibly a spare to the heir?

Senator Ted Cruz:  the spoiler----this character has some cojones

Chris (I'm disappointed) Christie

Governor Pence:  Clean Up Crew

 

PLAYBILL 2

Hillary:  Catherine the Great as Empress

Bill (two roles):  Peter the Great and Grand Duke Peter

Chelsea:  Young Catherine the Great

Monica Lewinsky:  Marta, Peasant Girl and Peter the Great’s Lover

 

Much like a William Shakespeare performance, this show may be a dreadful tragedy, (take your pick; Hamlet, King Lear, MacBeth) or could turn out to make America laugh again just like Sir William’s comedy, Much Ado About Nothing!

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Family Matters: A Review of Netflix’s Bloodline

By Donna Arp Weitzman | @DonnaAWeitzman | http://donnaarpweitzman.com/

We find ourselves in the middle of the “peak TV” era, with fantastic show upon fantastic show available to us via several platforms; from your traditional cable box to streaming services, the best of today’s television series are the press of a button away.  Accomplished author, columnist, businesswoman and civic leader Donna Arp Weitzman offers her take on a Netflix series that has her attention…

Photo Credit: Netflix

Photo Credit: Netflix

Netflix continually features great shows and Bloodline is one of my favorites.  The theme of complete and utter family dysfunction is displayed with every scene, while snippets of darker family secrets tantalize your psyche.

Sissy Spacek plays Sally Rayburn, the all-knowing yet desperately loving mother and matriarch.  She is painfully aware of her children's dark sides, but forges on with a half-hearted smile and determination to believe the positive.

Her eldest, Danny, the prodigal son, is played by Ben Mendelsohn.  Danny's sinister soul sent chills up my spine.  He begged to be hated, yet somehow wormed his way into making his siblings feel responsible and guilty if they didn't succumb to his mean-spirited demands.

John (Kyle Chandler), second son in line, is beset with guilt for reasons unknown to the viewer, although occasional flashes of his life while a boy pairs him with action scenes with brother, Danny. You know there is some deed lurking in the past that has incessantly haunted him.  His innards want to hate and despise Danny, but his innate sense of a do-gooder pleads him into forgiveness for Danny at every turn.

Photo Credit: Netflix

Photo Credit: Netflix

Meg, played by Linda Cardellini, is the bright lawyer in the family.  In my opinion, she is the weakest character, always thrusting herself into situations and throwing her legal knowledge into any mix. Bloodline seems to typecast Meg as a strong, bright woman purposefully just to appease us girls!

The fourth and most unpredictable sibling is the man-child, Kevin.  Norbert Leo Butz plays the hot-headed, unforgiving baby of the family.  His every sentence insults Danny, albeit rightly so.
With total disdain for his oldest brother, Kevin has a minor role for the first season.

Dad, expertly played by Sam Shepard, dies in the first season.  His demise opens the flood gates to a void in the family.  Danny, who openly berated his father and played up to Mom, decides to move in with Mom upon his father’s burial.  It is obvious Danny plans to get more than a share of the family business heretofore run by Mom and Dad.  Mom seems happy to have a male shoulder to help run the Floridian beachside inn, Rayburn House, as it requires a strong handyman much of the time.

The show uses the tag line “we’re not bad people, but we did a bad thing” and I look forward to uncovering more family secrets when the series returns for season two.

Bloodline is a critically acclaimed and award nominated drama and Netflix Original Series. The much-anticipated second season premiered May 27th and was released in its entirety. Prepare to binge.

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Movies with Emotional Baggage

By Donna Arp Weitzman

For many of us, emotional baggage can build from a very early age, and it's important to release that baggage as we enter new relationships. Crazy, dysfunctional prior relationships can weigh heavily on your psyche, and wear you down mentally, physically, and emotionally.

Everyone has emotional baggage and on its own, it's not necessarily a bad thing.  The problem is not that you may have it, but what you choose to do with it. Do you keep your emotions locked in a closet? Not good.  Do you carry it around until your body aches? Also not good.

 Fortunately for us moviegoers, we always have great films and actors to help us relate on how they handle their personal emotional baggage and the stories they tell. Movies display the problems that we are trying to decipher and give us a direct or indirect road map on how we can combat and build off them.

Here are seven instrumental films in the last 20 years (don’t want to veer to much into the past as the current romantic climate has changed considerably since the internet) relatable to every generation on dealing with the ever-perplexing issue of emotional baggage.

 1.  You’ve Got Mail, 1998. Director Nora Ephron, Starring Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. The quintessential tech-based romantic comedy that features rivals away from the computer screen, characters Joe and Kathleen (Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan) unknowingly fall in love with each other via an email relationship and humorously deal with a number of common online dating issues. The story, a modernized little "remake" of "The Shop Around The Corner", is more fairy tale than realism -- two people fall in love over email, in war in real life, and however can such a thing be solved -- but it's an enchanting story nonetheless.

Credit to Getty Images

Credit to Getty Images

2.  Notting Hill, 1999. Director Roger Mitchell, Starring Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant. This is the best romanic comedy in 1999, in my opinion. It's a story about an actress (Anna Scott played by Julia Roberts) at the height of her career finding the ordinary man (William Thacker played by Hugh Grant) in Notting Hill (an actual place in the UK) and falling in love with him. The unlikely story of travel bookstore owner getting involved with a mega-star actress is a fantasy but then it's a movie... and their story is fun to watch. Their quirky romance struggles a bit while they try to find a common ground for the couple from opposite ends of the spectrum- and the movie tries to convey that even famous actresses have normal needs, too.

 3.  Silver Linings Playbook, 2012. Director David O Russell, Starring Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawerence. Cooper plays a man being released from institutionalized care after a violent episode got him into trouble. Having lost his job and his wife, he is taken in by his parents who must contend with his bipolar condition. Cooper is single-minded in his pursuit to get back together with his wife, to the point of obsession. When he meets an odd young widow (Lawrence) dealing with plenty of personal demons, the two seem like they've got a lot in common. Of course, they seem perfect for each other but Cooper remains oblivious for most of the movie. The ending is perfectly timed out though with the synchronicity of both oddball personalities finally meeting each others match. 

4.  500 Days of Summer, 2009. Director Marc Webb, Starring Zoey Deschanel and Joesph Gordon Levitt. “This is a story of boy meets girl. But you should known in advance, this is not a love story,” intones the voiceover at the start of this bittersweet romantic comedy. Tom (Gordon-Levitt) grew up believing in fate bringing soul mates together whereas Summer (Deschanel) grew up not believing in much of anything, least of all lasting relationships. On the other hand, there's the duality between what one would like to happen and what actually does happen; we often go through life with expectations, even though we know deep down that most will never be met. Tom is in a tug-of-war between his romantic fantasies and the reality that Summer doesn't believe in true love.

5.  High Fidelity, 2000. Director Stephen Frears, Starring John Cusack and Catherine Zeta – Jones. Cusack plays a relatable guys kind of guy who owns a record store and is plagued by the unique flaws of each ex girlfriend. The movie is littered with inner dialogue with Rob’s (Cusack) past experiences and terrible luck with keeping stable relationships. However, as the movie evolves and Cusack’s character matures he realizes the right type of woman for his eclectic personality and oddball personality filled with self-actualized humor and an appreciation in music.

 6.  Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, 2004. Director Michel Gondry, Starring Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet. Focused on two sadden love stories in unique perspectives all four main characters dealing with their own shortcomings. Clementine(Winslet) is a tragic woman who is constantly searching for the right soulmate that may appear in glimpses but always keeps her wondering. Her counterpart Joel(Carrey) is a quirky, soft-spoken introvert who struggles with his own confidence and observations. After learning of a operation that his girlfriend has had to remove him from her memory, Joel decides to copy the same procedure, although both in retrospect realize the emotional baggage and past they have with each other is better not forgotten. 

Photo Credit: Focus Features / Everett Collection

Photo Credit: Focus Features / Everett Collection

7.  Sideways, 2004. Director Alexander Payne, Starring Paul Giamatti and Thomas Haden Church. Payne masterfully displays how emotional baggage can translate through friendship in this film as much as it can play out in the romantic arena as well. The main character Miles (Giamatti) plays a self-aware novelist who consistently over analyses his previous marriage. This results in daily bitterness of the idea of the love and the daunting process it takes on a person. But in a refreshing albeit abrasive manner, Miles friend Jack (Haden Church) brings a sense of humor and ignorant point of view to counter balance each other. Both dealing with past and current relationships, plan an escape trip to wine country; which in turn only winds up being a harsh dose of reality and the failure of not dealing with it head on. This movie feeds on emotion, Giamatti’s character doing it in a quiet self-analyzing way and Haden Church’s path more outspokenly wrapped around action driven mistakes.

 There are plenty more great examples in the archives of film to show how our favorite story – tellers deal with the encompassing emotional baggage that we all try to take on. But these 7 can bring great examples with laughs, tears and hopes surrounded by unique settings in cinema.

 

 

 

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